No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
