Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Houston, we have a blender
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
