I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
