you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you win again, gameday.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
