We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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