Don't you send me to vm
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
