Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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