I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
