If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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