Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
