The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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