Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
