Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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