Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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