I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
