So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
