I need help removing her.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
