He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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