you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
