Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
