This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize