they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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