i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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