the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
