i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
