okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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