They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
