ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
