come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
