He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
