There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
