Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Found the puke drawer
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
