dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
