just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
