jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
