Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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