I need help removing her.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
