help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
