fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
