Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
