Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
