I am spending my child support on dildos
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
