guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
