I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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