is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
