Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
