i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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