so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
