yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
