Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
