if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
