it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
