i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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