I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
