my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
