R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
