I feel great
I just peed on a car
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
