I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
