Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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