Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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